Deafening silence

I will admit it up front, I have been terrible about writing.

Life has been busy and I have not made the time to do this even though there have been things I wanted to write about. I will not promise this will stop but I am going to try to write more (even if only a little).

There are lots of things coming up but the current idea running through my head is resisting the inevitable (especially when it doesn’t make any sense).

This is coming from my kids and what I can try to take away from what I try to teach them.

A little background……yesterday we needed to run an errand which involved about an hour ride in the car each way (which both girls do NOT enjoy). They both spent a large amount of time telling me how much they didn’t want to go and trying to figure out ways to avoid the trip. I finally pointed out to both of them that

• I didn’t really want to go either, but it needed to be done
• we were going no matter what and all they were doing was making themselves unhappier by complaining
• perhaps they could try to come up with a way to make the trip more bearable.

Leigh had gone out and picked up “How to train your dragon” from Red box so we put the DVD player in the van and let them watch that on the trip, lo and behold when we got home they asked if they could sit in the garage and finish watching the movie!

Not only was it not the horrible miserable experience they thought it was going to be but they wanted to extend the it rather than get it over with….

I wonder how often I do the same thing in my own life without realizing it?

Show a Thon 2009 (no fear and conquering fear)

This past weekend the girls dance/arts school had their annual Show a Thon.

This is a fund raiser the school does every year where the kids (and adults) perform in the middle of the local mall for 7-8 hours (some folks only perform once, some perform many times).

Teeny is in a pre-ballet class and they were performing their adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood. She had NO fear at all and her only complaint was that they didn’t get to spend enough time on the stage (the actual quote was, “all that waiting around for nothing”).

Here is her performance

Nana on the other hand was VERY nervous about her performance. She is in a group voice class (think pop star 101) and didn’t realize that solo performance meant she would be on stage alone. While her class did perform two group numbers first, she had to get on stage alone and sing. Based on her body language and comments before the show DW and I were expecting her to not be able to get on stage and make it through her performance.

We were wrong, she came through like a champ (although if you know her you can tell from the video she isn’t the most comfortable).

Here is her performance.

I am in awe of both of them, Teeny for her complete lack of fear and Nana for her conquering of it. I just hope I can learn from both of their examples myself.

A look back and forward

It is that time again where many folks tend to reflect on the past year and look to the upcoming one. I am no different (although I don’t typically go in for resolutions, I do like to set goals for myself).

I plan to do the same this year, but first a look back at some of the high points of 2008.

Good things that happened (just a few highlights that stick out since I won’t remember everything).

• My family
  They will always tend to top this list as they give me the most joy and support.
• Teeny
  Yes I know I just mentioned family, but she stands out simply for her ability to make me laugh or cry just by knowing the right thing to say (and there is nothing like a 4 1/2 year old climbing in your lap for a hug to put life in perspective).
• Leigh
  Again, part of my family but also my best friend and one person who really understands me.
• Fall Camp
  This too will be on the list each year as it is always a joy to spend time with Sensei, seeing old friends and making new ones.
• The dojo
  In many ways this feels like repetition as this has become an extended family for me. I have so many wonderful people here who provide help and support that I can’t imagine what things would be like without them.
• Kids Aikido Summer camp
  To get to spend a couple of days with a wonderful instructor (thank you again Dennis Sensei) and my daughter doing something I love was an incredible experience.
• Nana and her moving into the Highly capable program at school
  To see her truly challenged and blossoming is a wonderful thing (and yes I am bragging about her, I am her Dad it is my right).
• Home improvement projects
  This is always a source of enjoyment for me as I get to make the house better as well as try new things.
• Kids Aikido (especially with Nana)
  This is perhaps the most fun out of all the things on the list. Getting to watch all of the kids we teach improve and become more comfortable on the mat has been a great source of joy over the past months. While all the kids are special, watching my daughter grow in her technique and love of the art is especially gratifying.

There are many others as well, but those are a few of the things that really stick out (hmm, notice how many things revolve around either the dojo or family…).

And now my goals for 2009.

• Continue my training and test for Shodan at fall camp 2009 in Arizona
• Take a family vacation (already have reservations for July)
• Add more distance to my running and run a 10K race at some point
  (my eventual goal is a 1/2 marathon, but my brain isn’t ready to commit to that yet 🙂
• Help Leigh to deal with whatever happens
  (some of you will know what I mean by this and some won’t, but lets just say that life tends to throw curve balls)
• Start a small home based business for computer consulting for added income
• Read MORE for fun
• Lose another 35 pounds
  (actually I want to lose another 50, but this is a good goal for this year, next year I will work on the other 15 if they are still there)

There are many other things I want to do, but that is enough for now.

What are your plans for the coming year and what has brought you joy over the past year?

Back to school already?

Wednesday was another milestone for us as Nana and Teeny are now back to school (where did the summer go?).

Nana ready for School

Teeny ready for School

Nana is starting at a new school so she can take part in the district’s highly capable program (maybe this year we won’t hit the classroom boredom wall in March) and Teeny is back for her last year at her preschool before kindergarten.

They both had a hard time sleeping on Tuesday night since they were so excited for the school year to begin. I am curious if the excitement will keep up as they get older.
We dropped Nana off at the bus stop as her new school is too far to walk, then Leigh took me over by car so I could meet her before her first day (she wanted one of us with her, we will see how many more years that happens).

After dropping me off she took Teeny to school then came back to pick me up at which point we went to breakfast together. I think we are going to make an annual tradition out of that as well (Mommy and Daddy spend a morning out together on the first day of school).
Everyone LOVES their new classes and are really excited about this year so things are off to a good start.

How did your first day of school go this year?

The authors tea party

I was privileged to get to help out yesterday in Nana’s first/second grade class (she is in a split class).

They were having an event that I found to be incredibly fun, an authors tea party. The premise was that the kids would invite a special person in their lives (could be a parent or grandparent, Nana chose her Aunti Vicki) to come and have a tea party with the kids in the class room. During this tea party the kids would show all of the writing that they have done through the year and highlight one specific item for their guest.

They spent time learning how to perform an introduction, how to pass cookies (because what is a tea party without cookies?) and stressed good manners. Since Leigh and I have both volunteered in the classroom the teacher asked if one of use could be there to

1. help set things up
2. stand in for a missing significant other if needed (this teacher thinks of everything)

My help as a stand in wasn’t needed, but it was a lot of fun to watch the kids show off their work and enjoy basking in the glow radiated by their special guest. Some of the comments were pretty funny as well, things like “see this is what I wrote like at the beginning of the year, isn’t it bad?” and others along the same lines were heard all over the room.

After tea was served and the kids had a chance to show off their handiwork, they put on the entertainment for the event. All in all five nusery rhymes were acted out by various groups of kids, complete with props and costumes (Nana informed me that they have been practising for months on these).

It was a great example of why Leigh and I think so highly of Nana’s teacher and a great chance to be a fly on the wall (albeit a very large obvious one) at an event that I will remember for a long time.

A nice quiet evening

Last night was nothing out of the ordinary.

My wife went to a friends for dinner, so I was home with the girls. They had dinner and then we went downstairs to let Nana practice for her choir concert.

I was a little stiff and sore from the weekend so I told her I was going to do a few yoga stretches while she worked on her music and of course teeny had to do them with me (try to talk a 4 year old through downward facing dog, I dare you). It was a lot of fun to listen to Nana while watching Teeny mimic what she thought I was doing.

Then we went upstairs and all curled up on the bed to watch part of The Neverending Story 2.

A bit later got Teeny in bed, read a couple of stories, sang a few songs and then kissed her goodnight after which I read another chapter of our latest book to Nana.

Got her all ready for bed (homework done) and then crashed downstairs to watch BSG on the Tivo.

May not sound too exciting, but it was a good night as I got to spend some quality time with the girls having fun.

Class at an early age

This last weekend was our families turn to pick up my oldest daughters school (PTA commitment).

When we showed up on saturday to pick things up, the school grounds were covered in toilet paper. We made a few choice comments about both the folks who did it as well as the parents sitting down on the ball field watching little league games ignoring it and then started to pick it up.

We work in two teams, one of the girls goes down on the ball field with my wife (it was Nana this time) and the other stays up top with me to pick up the parking lot and playground. We had picked up the parking lot and a chunk of the play area and my wife and daughter had made the round of the ball field (still without a single parent down there getting up to do anything). I was working on getting as much of the TP off the playground as I could when I heard something. I looked up and a young lady who had been watching the games on the field below was sitting there. I asked her what she had said and she repeated “do you have another bag?”. I of course handed her the one I had left and she proceeded to help clean up the mess.

Let me make a couple of things very clear.

1) She was too old to have gone to that school.

2) She did not have ANY obligation to pick anything up

3) NONE of the adults who had walked past the mess to get to the little league games on the field below had done anything to clean things up.

I hope my girls end up with that much class and poise. She really made my day.

Perspective

A few weeks back Mr. Murphy had a field day with me.

I woke up to find out that work had lost power.

No problem we purchased a generator to cover this eventuality, BUT for some reason the building circuits didn’t realize it came on.

OK could have been worse at least the power was only out for a couple of hours and when it came back on all the servers came up, BUT the web database server which feeds our latest and greatest product wouldn’t boot.

No problem we bought a duplicate backup server and they are replicated so swapping over is simple, BUT the backup server won’t boot either.

OK now I am done looking at things from the bright side. I get things running where I can and then dig into the server that won’t boot.

No joy so I call the vendor I bought them from and ask for help, he gets someone out to our site and the two of us work on it for an hour or so and he finally asks if he can pull it and take the server back to their office.

2 more hours go by and he has an answer, brings in the server he took and gets both it and the primary up and running.

Oh, did I mention this all happened on a Thursday which is the day my wife volunteers at Nana’s school and I pick Teeny up from preschool?

I got through the day and you know what, it was a day that showed me how lucky I am. (hang with me for a bit, I am not completely insane).

During the entire day, I got the chance to steal moments with my wife, daughters and dog whereas if I didn’t work from home I wouldn’t have seen them at all that day.

I have one of the BEST hardware vendors you could ever ask for (if you EVER need computer hardware, check out genstor computers, I cannot recommend them highly enough)

My wife and girls get that sometimes stuff happens. When it was almost time for me to head out to get Teeny my wife sticks her head in the door and asks if I need her to go get her for me without my needing to say a word (I hadn’t even thought of it).

When I told Teeny that I was sorry I couldn’t come and get her, she looked me in the eye and said “that’s OK daddy, is your work stuff not broken any more?” and gave me a hug.

All in all it ended up being a much better day than it should have been thanks to the great people in my life.

What a difference a year makes

I am an Aikidoka and train in Kokiakai Aikido.

I also have 2 daughters current ages 7 (Nana) and 3 (Teeny).

About a year ago I tried to combine the two and Nana started to train with me as a part of our kids class. I never got the feeling she was having fun and she didn’t really seem engaged when we were at the dojo, thus I wasn’t too surprised when she told me she didn’t want to continue with her training. She had stuck with things for about 5 or 6 weeks (which is a good start for a 6 year old) and she didn’t like being sweaty (her reason for not wanting to train).

I tried to do all the supportive things when she chose to stop and definitely did NOT want her training just because “Daddy does Aikido”, nevertheless I was a little disappointed that she didn’t enjoy her training because Aikido has become a very important part of my life and I wanted to share that with her.

Since then she has spent some time with gymnastics (which she would still be doing if we could find a gym that didn’t think a 7 year old should already be shooting for the summer games) and dance (which she did not enjoy).

When she stopped dance, my wife and I told her she had to pick an activity to stay active with. To my surprise she said she wanted to do Aikido again. I must have asked her at least a dozen times if she was sure (I don’t want to be one of those parents who force their kids to adopt their own tastes) just to gauge if this was something she wanted or all she could think of.

She assured me that she wanted to train, so when February rolled around we signed her up and she and I now train on Saturdays together (after which she stays and plays while I train for a couple more hours).

She is LOVING it. When my wife met us after her first session on the mat Nana’s first words were that she made two new friends. She keeps talking about how much fun she is having and asking me to go through some of the warm up routine with her at home. This is a kid who can’t get out of bed for anything, yet I have not yet had an issue getting her up on a Saturday morning to go and train.

Had I tried to force Aikido on her she would never have gone back to training but now she has and hopefully will find something as meaningful as I have. Even if she decides down the road not to continue I have a great training partner for Saturday mornings for a while and we get a little more together time.